Reflecting on Bear100 & 2015

It has been 3.5 months since my experience at the Bear100. I have had a lot of time to reflect on how it all went down. I wouldn't change a thing. I think that myself, my crew and my family all took something from that experience that helped each of us grow. I think back to how emotional I was during the last half of the race and I have often wondered if I would have been if I hadn't of hurt myself. I don't think that I would have been, but I think that I needed that outlet to express the loss and frustration that I had experienced during the first half of 2015. 

We lost our Grandma Springer in February. My strong, feisty, witty, smart, beautiful, funny, and kind grandma had passed away. In May, something happened that hurt and humiliated me so deeply that it has taken months to recover from it.  In June we lost our Leon. We were blessed with 13 years with him. He was the sweetest most stubborn dog!! Two weeks later, we lost my Tommy. I was blessed with 17 years with my sweet kitty, but 17 years wasn't nearly enough time. During those two weeks I had to have lung surgery and was diagnosed with an auto-immune disease called Sarcoidosis which has effected my eyes, lungs, skin and joints. Thankfully I was able to get the Sarcoidosis under control with my running.  

 

When September rolled around, I went into the Bear100 as physically fit as I had ever been. I also went into it with a lot of raw emotions and emotional baggage. My training had helped me sort thru most of it and I am so grateful that my husband and son supported me and allowed me the time to go train and race. 

Did the first part of 2015 suck? Yes. But I have grown stronger, my core relationships have grown stronger, and I have stopped seeking acceptance from others simply because of who they are. For every bad thing that happened, something good happened. For every end there was a new beginning. 

So many good things have come out of those dark months and I think that everything that happened in the Bear100, including my ankle, helped with the healing process. I could walk away from it knowing that I was stronger than I had thought, could withstand more pain than I had thought and had a lot more people believing in me than I had thought.

I have experienced loss. I have hurt others and been hurt by others. I have lifted up others and been lifted up by others. I am not unique in these ways. We all experience and do these things. We are all making our journey through life and most of us are doing the best that we can. 

The lessons that I have taken away from 2015 are that once you find who truly loves, accepts and believes in you, cherish them and hold them tight. Let go of those who don't. Forgive. Live in the now because time is going to pass no matter what and now is the time that we have. If there is a goal or dream that you have been thinking about doing but it scares you...GO FOR IT!!!

 

I hope that everyone has a kick ass 2016!!



Grandma Springer

 

Leon the "Ladies Dog"

 

Sweet Tommy