She Believed She Could, So She Did

www.bear100.com

I spent the late spring and summer training for my first 100 miler up in the mountains. I mostly spent it up in the Hualapai Mountains here in Kingman, AZ. I also trained in Prescott, Flagstaff and Williams, AZ. When I sit and think about all of the beautiful places that I was able to train in starting back in May, it brings me to blissful memories of my time up in the mountains. The mountains are a place of refuge from this busy chaotic thing we call routine.

Prescott, AZ

Mt. Elden, Flagstaff, AZ

Williams, AZ

Hayden Peak, Hualapai Mts. Kingman, AZ

Hualapai Peak, Hualapai Mts Kingman, AZ

Last long training run before Bear

I started training under Coach James Bonnett in May. Hiring him was my birthday present from my husband. Best birthday present ever! After a short phone interview, he posted my first week of training. I remember thinking, "And so it begins..." 

I was both excited and scared to officially start training for my first 100 miler. He reassured me that we had some work to do but that he would have me ready to toe the line. By the time that I was heading to Logan, Utah,  last Wednesday, I was the fittest I have ever been, confident and ready to toe the line. 

I put a lot of thought and preparation into every detail of the race. I was mentally preparing my drop bags and calculating my pace, nutrition and hydration 2 months ahead of time. I visualized different times of the day and imagined how I might be feeling at that time. I thought of everything that could go wrong and how I could deal with it. 

My training cycle went smooth for the most part and I was able to complete the workouts that were critical. So the week before the race, when I was putting everything physically together and packing, I was relaxed and ready. My son, Bren, helped me with my drop bags. One of my crew members had suggested that he draw pictures for me on them to help motivate me. He wrote messages for me instead. He told me that I wasn't allowed to read the last drop bag message until I made it to the Beaver Creek aid station at mile 85.

Bren writing his messages for me.

  

I left for Utah two days before the race. After kissing my boys goodbye, I headed to my friend Julee's house to pick her up. Julee was kind enough to agree to go to Utah with me and to help when and wherever she was needed. She was also going to crew with Meaghen for our friend, Amanda, during the race. She is really that awesome. I wouldn't see my other two crew members/pacers until the second aid station on the day of the race. Julee and I drove until Provo, Utah where we checked into a hotel and called it a night. We knew this would be my last chance for a good night's sleep before race day.

We arrived in Logan around 12:00p.m. the next day and headed over to the packet pick up at The Sportsman. Once I had that bib in my hands it hit me that this was really happening.

I woke up at 3:00am race morning to eat my first breakfast. I had to literally gag it down. Apparently I don't like to eat at 3;00am, but I knew that these calories were critical. Then I laid back down to catch some more zzz's before I had to wake up at 4:30am, but I couldn't fall back asleep. I spent that time doing more visualization and mental preparation. 

After we were up and ready, I ate my second breakfast. Julee handed me a pretty silver bracelet that said, "She Believed She Could, So She Did." She wanted me to have it. Little did I know how much this precious gift from my friend would help motivate me throughout my race. 

We met Amanda and Meaghen in the hotel lobby around 5:15am to head over to the starting line.

Amanda & I before the race.

The race started right on time at 6:00am. And so it begins...

We winded our way through a neighborhood for a bit before we hit the single track trail that would begin winding us up to Logan Peak. It was dark for the first hour or so and as the sun came up the beautiful scenery became visible. I could hear the Aspens before I could see them. This made me smile. I was in the mountains. My happy place. 

Amanda and I were together until about mile 3.  That would be the last that we would see each other as we each continued on our own race journey. This was the longest climb of the race but it wasn't nearly as bad as I had thought that it would be. I cruised at a comfortable pace and made it to the Logan Peak aid station at mile 10.5 feeling great.

One of the views climbing up to Logan Peak 

I checked in and back out of Logan Peak AS quickly after refilling my water bottle and grabbing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Now I would be heading towards the Leatham Hollow aid station where I would see my crew for the first time. I was cruising at a comfortable pace and enjoying the beautiful scenery all around me. There were so many different types of scenery between the different vegetation and the different rock formations. Reds, yellows, greens, browns, etc. Talk about eye candy!

I reached the Leatham Hollow AS at mile 19.66 and as I was running in I was looking for my crew. As soon as I saw and heard them I had a huge grin on my face.

While they refilled my hydration pack and my water bottle, I went over and grabbed my drop bag with my fuel in it. It was starting to get warm out so I let them know that I wanted to start my heat management at this point. They put ice in my bandana that would go around my neck and ice in my hat. They had also put ice in my water bottle and in my hydration bladder. I headed out of there with a brain freeze! 

I began the climb to Richards Hollow aid station which was at mile 22.5. It was on a dirt road with lots of shade and water running next to it, and I arrived there quickly.

From Richards Hollow AS I headed towards Cowley Canyon AS. We spent a lot of time on some singletrack and I chatted off and on with another female runner. I stopped to do something and she pulled ahead. 

I ended up running for a bit with a runner from Miami, Florida named Chad. He told me some cool stories about running 100 milers in Florida with alligators and sand. He was a very cool guy and I introduced him to my crew member, Anna, so that she might keep an eye on him since he was out there without a crew. I called him "Chad from Florida" like "Jake from State Farm" when I asked about him. : )

  

There were cattle everywhere.

Sheep! Baaaaaa

Heading into Cowley Canyon AS

I was cruising along feeling great as I headed towards the Right Hand Fork AS and was around mile 35 when I jammed my toes on my right foot on a rock. The rock didn't budge. It. Hurt. Bad. I thought that I had just busted another toenail like I did in my 1st 50k. No biggie, right? Keep moving.

This was the point that I was starting to see the heat effect runners. Some were puking. Some had run out of water and were trying to get to the next aid station as quickly as they could. I even offered a runner some of my water because I knew that we had about 2 miles to go. Two miles in the mountains is different than two miles on a flatter course.

We winded our way down to the aid station and there was a short pretty out and back into the aid station where we ran alongside running water. My ankle had started hurting a bit by this point but I didn't think much of it. 

I met up with my crew, restocked, and dunked my hat in the a bucket of fresh running water. I sat down alongside the water for a few minutes to gnaw on some Tums because my belly was a bit...gassy. I knew that I was almost through the hottest part of the day and I was making good time so I took off from there and headed up the last hot exposed climb for the day.

Right Hand Fork AS sipping on Ginger Ale

  

The closer that I got to Temple Fork AS, the more I knew that something was truly wrong with my ankle. It was starting to hurt pretty badly, and felt like it was swelling but I didn't want to look. If I don't look, it is not happening, right?!

This part of the course had some smooth downhill portions and we ran along running water again for awhile. That was so rejuvenating and peaceful! The sun was beginning to go down and it was cooling off out there. This should have been where I was excited because I was still making good time and I could pick up my pace and move quicker with the cooler air. But I knew...I knew that I had to slow down if I wanted to finish this race.

Once I had arrived at Temple Fork AS at mile 45, I had decided that from this point on I would have to hike as fast as I could because I could no longer safely run. I knew that I could still make it by the final cutoff if I just kept moving. 

I had written Bren's name on my arm before the race and had been looking at it off and on throughout the day. As I sat at the AS eating a cup of chicken noodle soup, I stared at it. This was it. This was the fork in the road. 

Unexpected challenges always happen in ultras and that is part of the allure for me. I had been wondering what mine would be. I knew that one would creep up on me. Everyone out there was facing some kind of challenge or struggle. My ankle was mine. 

I stared at Bren's name and saw his face in my mind. Then I looked at a picture of Jeremy and I that is on the lock screen of my phone. I knew right then and there that I would face this challenge head on. This would not defeat me. I knew that I was out there to show my son that you can set a goal, work hard, and accomplish it. I told him that I would bring that buckle home. Quitting was not an option. 

I picked up my first pacer at this point. I will call him...Indiana Jones. This would be an adventure for him and he would be guiding Marion Ravenwood (that's me) from the Raiders of the Lost Ark (minus the love story). I am referring to the stubborn female and Indiana's ability to handle her. Anyone who is familiar with the movies knows who I am talking about. 

It was getting dark so we grabbed some warm clothes and our headlamps and began the long climb to Tony Grove AS. As you can see, I have everything broken down from aid station to aid station. That is how I did it in my mind during my race too. Section by section.

We made that long climb and towards the end of it my ankle was throbbing. I was focusing on not tripping again and getting to Tony Grove. 

I had warned the crew that when I am in pain I like to listen to people talk, but I do not like to talk much. I remember Mr. Jones asking me a question along the lines of, "If you could meet one dead person from the past, who would it be?" My answer? "No one." Later on he asks me, "Sooooo, what are you thinking about?" My answer? "Walking." Poor Mr. Jones.

We arrived at mile 51 at the Tony Grove AS.  I grabbed some warmer clothes and a beanie here. It was getting chilly! My other crew member, Anna Banana, would be pacing me from here until Franklin Basin AS. I spent a bit of time at this AS because Anna wanted to try to stabilize my ankle. Right as we were wondering what to do, Julee showed up!!!! Amanda was still on the course heading towards this AS so Julee was there waiting for her. I was SO excited to see her!! She also had some athletic tape in the car so she ran and got it. Anna applied the tape and we got ready to head out.

Being out there with Anna was a blast! She has good energy and she is another strong headed independent female athlete so she knows. She just knows. She took my mind off of my pain because she can talk and talk and talk and talk. She didn't care who she was talking to out there. It could be me. It could be another runner. It could be another runner's pacer. It could be a cow. You could hear her voice echoing throughout the canyons or across the meadows. It was hilarious and I was hiking behind her with a s*** eating grin on my face. We definitely made some friends along the way. Well, Anna did anyways. I was just cool by association.

I hit a mental low towards the end of this section because so many runners were passing us. It was cool out and the single track was through some meadows and lots of downhill which made for some nice running. If you could run. Downhill was what was killing my ankle. I am competitive by nature and although I was in it to finish it no matter what, I still struggled with people passing me. "I am going to finish in last place!" I whined. Anna reassured me I was fine and I snapped out of it.

We cruised into the Franklin Basin AS at mile 64.5. It was cold! They had a nice area with a fire going and chairs for runners to sit on. I changed into my running capris, a warmer beanie and grabbed a hot cup of chicken noodle soup. I took a seat while I ate and watched the other runners around me. Some were perky and smiling. Others were zoned and out of it. It was around 2am at this point. 

While I was sitting there warming up, I noticed that Chad from Florida was sitting there. He was struggling because he had taken a couple of hard falls. He seemed out of it. A volunteer was trying to cheer him up and see if he could go back out. 

The volunteers and food at all off the aid stations were great! They put a lot of time and energy into making sure we had everything that we needed. I think they would have given us a hug if that was what we needed. 

Before I headed back out, I checked on Chad and tried to encourage him. I didn't know if I would see him again on the course or not. 

Mr. Jones and I headed out for our 15 miles together on what would be the hardest sections mentally for both him and I. We had to cover 8 miles to Logan River/Steep AS. This portion was quite technical and the last half coming down was grueling. Mr. Jones was talking off and on and it was nice listening to him and following him. I was truly grateful that he was out there with me in the middle of the night making sure that I didn't get lost. I knew that this was hard on him. It would be hard on anybody. It was the middle of the friggin night! 

Around 5am, we were about a mile from the AS and I hit a mental low. It seemed like it was taking forever to get to the AS.  I cried silently into my running buff for about a mile or so. I was pissed, cold and tired. But most importantly, I wanted some soup. 

We arrived at the Logan River/Steep AS at mile 69.5 and I grabbed a hot cup of soup. I was shaking so badly that I was spilling it all over me but I didn't care. There were people DNFing there and others who were way too comfortable in their chairs. We moved out of there quickly! 

As we turned the corner we were standing in front of Logan River and there was no obvious crossing. Just ice cold water flowing past our feet. We would have to figure out how to cross without getting wet. It didn't look very deep but I knew that if I fell in or even submerged my feet in that cold water at that point, it was game over. There was no way that I could recover from that because I would become hypothermic. We stared at it for a bit and then Mr. Jones found a way that he thought we could cross. He went ahead and tried it, and it worked!! I needed a few moments to comprehend what I had to do annnnd I wanted to eat my beloved soup. This may have been the last few moments of my race and I wanted to take it all in. All of a sudden I hear a stern voice say, "Come on. Get over here now."

Anybody that knows me. Truly knows me...knows how that would go over at this point. I looked up from my lovely cup of soup, stared straight at that silhouette across the river and said thru gritted teeth, "No! I want to eat my soup!" I turned my back to him and ate more of my soup. Poor Mr. Jones. 

I drank the broth and shoved the cup with noodles down my sports bra so it was secured for the crossing. I went across the logs that he had crossed using my hands and feet to steady myself. Then I stepped onto the rocks that I would hop across to make it to the other side.

We made it!!!!! Woo hoo! Hot diggity dog!! I felt like jumping up and down with my hands in the air like Rocky does. I was met with a huge smile from Mr. Jones and a hug. He handled my low moment so well.

We made our way towards the Beaver Lodge AS. This would be another section of steep climbing and a descent. As we were cresting the ridge the sun came up and we were treated to a glorious sunrise. We had made it through the night! We started heading down towards the AS and I heard an elk bugle. I had been hoping that I would get to hear one and I did. 

By this time my pain level was sky high. My ankle felt like someone had poured gasoline on it and lit it on fire. The ball of my foot and my toes were screaming at me now from having to compensate. My left shin was starting to hurt from compensating. Every time I stepped it felt like someone was stabbing me. 

Suddenly my guts were on fire and I said, "I have to go to the bathroom!!!" as I frantically hobbled into the woods to find cover. I made it to an area with cover just in time. I made my way back out onto the trail and we headed in towards the Beaver Lodge AS at mile 75.8. 

As soon as I saw Anna, the tears that I had been holding back started falling. I told her, "I want to keep going. I cannot keep going like this though. Something has to change." 

She looked me over and sent me to the AS area inside of the lodge. She had me sit down and she grabbed a medical volunteer. He looked it over and told me that he could wrap it a certain way that would limit my movement but would take the edge off the pain. He reassured me that if I was tough enough to have already gone 40 miles on it, I could most certainly go another 25. He was right and I agreed. Anna showed up with some baby wipes and she wiped off my legs while I wiped off my face. I finally gave in and took a couple of Ibuprofen. I was wrapped up and ready to go! Mr. Jones was relieved of his pacing duties and Anna was on duty. 

We took off and right away my spirits were lifted because the pain level was down, the sun was up and Anna was talking and talking. We were moving along at a much faster pace than I had been able to all night and it felt wonderful! We started passing runners. I was passing runners!! I was so excited. We chatted with some runners for a bit and then we moved forward on our own heading towards the Gibson Basin AS at mile 81. We made it there in good time and checked out of it within 2 minutes.

Anna Banana & I at the Utah/Idaho Sate Line Photo Credit: Another Runner's Pacer

We headed towards the Beaver Creek AS and had a good time chatting. It was nice spending time with Anna out there. We are always so busy and I was getting to spend some good quality time with somebody who I love and respect.

We arrived at Beaver Creek AS at mile 85.25. This was something that I had been looking forward to for miles and miles. When Bren had written messages for me on my drop bags, he had told me that I could read every one of them beforehand EXCEPT for this one. This would be my last drop bag during the race. This drop bag had been the carrot on the stick that had motivated me to keep moving. I was here. I had made it. I went straight over to it and read it.

"I love you mom...your getting closer...your almost there and I love you"

I cried happy tears at that moment. I was so happy that I had made it this far and I knew that my little boy was back home cheering me on. It was time to get back out on the trails and finish this journey.

I left Beaver Creek AS by myself. It would give my pacer time to rest and give me time to reflect on the journey itself without any distractions. I enjoyed those miles to myself. It was like being out on one of my training runs and just cranking out some miles. There was a big climb during this section and I passed more runners. It was a beautiful morning out!

I arrived at the Ranger Dip AS at mile 92 ahead of schedule and my crew was nowhere to be seen. I found their vehicle, and Mr. Jones was passed out in the front seat and Anna Banana was passed out on a cot. I giggled and made my way to the AS tent.

I refilled my water, put some ice in my bandana and grabbed a PB & J sandwich. I headed over to my crew gnawing on my food and took a minute to look at them. I was so appreciative for all that they had done. I knew that if I left without waking up Anna that she would hunt me down and kill me somewhere on the trail so I woke her up. She did that thing that you do when you know that you slept in too late so you jump up with wide bloodshot eyes and your hands out to the sides.

She threw on her gear and off we went! This was the last section of the race. The climb out of Ranger Dip was straight up brutally steep. We passed some more runners on that section. I thought for sure that they would all bomb past me on the downhill. 

After the climb there was a fairly gentle downhill for a bit and we had our first view of Bear Lake! It was a beautiful sight!! Then we hit the real descent. This descent was hands down the worst descent I have ever had the pleasure of experiencing. It was so steep, long and painful that I consider taking off my hydration pack, sitting on it and scooting down it on my butt. Seriously. My pain level was sky high down this section but I just gritted my teeth, bitched off and on, and made my way down slowly but surely. I told Anna that I would NEVER do this race again. Only 3 runners passed us which surprised me. Apparently it was kicking everyone else's butt too.

We made it to a flat parking lot and looked to our left and there was another big hill. By this point it is just like, whatever. We made it up and down that hill and headed towards a flat gravel road. We were looking for the finish line. We knew that it had to be close. It had to be right around the corner, right?!?!  A nice lady told us that we "only" had less than 2 miles left. Less than 2 miles?! She meant well but at this point she may as well have said that we only had 20 miles left because that is what 2 miles sounded like. Anna and I looked at each other and were both like, ARRRRGHHHHHH!

We headed down that road and Anna took off ahead of me. She had been doing this the whole section and I knew why but at this point I needed her by my side. I tried to run but I almost fell over because I was not physically able to run. My flexor in my ankle was stiff and locked up so I literally could not run. 

So I was walking as fast as I could and she was pulling away. I finally told her that I was moving as fast as I could and was giving 100% effort but this was all that I had. This was everything I had left. I must have had a look of desperation because she instantly stopped and ran back to me. She stayed with me from that point on.

About .75 of a mile from the finish line, Mr. Jones appeared. Actually, his butt did. He was mooning us! He jogged up to us and asked me how I was feeling. I looked over at him and I said, "I am f***ing over it!" We all started laughing. I love my running friends. I asked where Julee was and he told me she was at the finish line. Yay! I couldn't wait to see her!

We came up to our last left turn and I was so close. I took my last right turn and as soon as I turned that corner and saw the finish line, tears welled up in my eyes yet again. 

I had done it. WE had done it. I had gone 100 miles and was going to cross the finish line and bring the buckle home to my boy. Other runners, crews and volunteers where cheering for me and I took it all in. Everything. The smells, the sounds, sights, the emotions...she believed she could, so she did.  

My sidekick, Julee, driving Miss Crazy home.

The buckle was handed off to my little man. : )

P.S. I will be returning to the Bear and going for my sub 30 hour goal. Hopefully in 2017. 

P.S.S. If you are looking for a running coach then check out James Bonnett. He is the man.
http://www.ultrazbonnett.com/

All but two photos were taken by me or my crew. 

Gear and Food:

Nathan Intensity Vest

Nike Wildhorse Shoes

Injinji Toe Socks

Hammer Endurolyte Capsules

Water

1 cup of Coke

Ginger Ale

VFuel Gels

Clif Shots

Pretzels

PB&J Sandwiches

Bananas

Watermelon

&

SOUP!!!!